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Tycoonism “Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within.”

July 21, 2009

If you have read my bestselling book, Success is Not a Secret, Its a System, you will remember this phrase:

“All limitations are self imposed.”

This is very true. I myself, have imposed several limitations on myself. This are all self imposed. It is important to know the difference of self imposed limitations than impositions and limitations because the society says so. What is the difference then? Every once in a while we find ourselves in a situation that goes beyond the limits we would like to set. It may be something as simple as not being able to say ‘no’ to a neighbor who wants to borrow your car, and maybe the car is returned late which in turn causes you to get delayed going to work. If you could have said, I will not let anyone borrow my car when I need it, it would have saved you a lot of trouble. A limit can then be defined as a situation where you have control enough to say ‘thus far and no more, or the buck stops here’. You are then in a position to negotiate and come up with some alternatives. There are very few things that you cannot set limits to and once these issues are settled, life would be a lot easier to live.

In our personal lives we have often encountered situations like the one mentioned above and those who have managed to set their limits have done well. For those who are still caught up in the circle of want versus need, take heart. You need to start slow and take it from there. Set yourself a time limit the next time your neighbor stops for a chat at a time most inconvenient for you. Give yourself say 3 minutes and then diplomatically tell them that this is really not a good time so, could they excuse you? This course of action will ensure that you have not caused anyone embarrassment, your relationship with that person is maintained and you can go about your job on time as it should be done.

In the business world, one might assume that setting a limit is not required because the boundaries of the discussion exist thanks to the market place. Unfortunately it does not work that way. When the economics are on a downward trend even a business negotiation or deal can go awry. Good and services can be checked out as people know what they are getting in terms of value for money with goods like homes or cars and services like a laundry service etc. but this complacency in assuming that the deal will not cross what they consider to be reasonable and fair is a wrong notion. Take a look at people who are regularly making bad deals. Why does that happen? It’s only because they did not set a limit for themselves saying that this would be as far as they would go and no further. If one is firm, then one has the strength to walk away. You can then enforce your limit even if the other party is not aware of it.

Remember that your opponent will have also set limits for himself and there is a limit beyond which they too will not go the same as you. Don’t let the situation get to a point where your patience is tested. Those who do try the limits of their patience end up exploding or getting really annoyed and causing more damage than accomplishing anything. So a good idea would be to find out your limit and stick by it. It might save you a lot of trouble and heartache.

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